Watch Your Words

You know that sinking feeling? When you say something in the heat of the moment and feel immediate regret.

We all fall into the parent trap of saying things to our children we probably shouldn’t. It is part of learning to parent and navigate relationships. However, when speaking to our children, it's important that we remember they are not equal adults and therefore cannot handle adult language. When we speak to our children keep these tips in mind.

Remember to be kind. It's tough when we are feeling upset and frustrated. But if a parent is showing this emotion consistently, your child gets the wrong message which is… does my parent really like me? They associate themselves as the source of your frustration which will wreak havoc on their confidence and self-esteem. Of course, we love our kids! However, they won't know that unless we show them with kind, calm words.

As important as the things you say are, remember to consider your actions. You teach by example and whether we realize it or not, our children are always watching! When we speak to our kids, we teach them how to have a relationship and behave with others. Choose your words wisely and use a calm voice. A child will internalize everything a parent or loved adult says to them, right or wrong. When you are upset, tell your child you need a break first and then proceed. This example will teach your child how to handle conflict better than any words you say in the heat of the moment.

As a society, we label everything in our environment each day. Although this is common practice, please remove labels for your child. Do not call them names or label their potential. Your child will live up to your labels and expectations. Use positive statements such as 'I know you can do it', 'You are so creative,' or fun or inquisitive etc. Be careful not to body shame by saying they are too something or not enough of something.  Kids, even young ones, understand when your statements are negative or positive. That's why it is critical to keep our statements positive. If you do say something and regret it, apologize! An apology teaches others you are human and not afraid to admit mistakes. By watching your example, your children will also learn how they should act when they say something they regret.

Create a safe space of open communication. Remember to keep in mind the age and maturity level of your kiddo, using words on their level. Be precise and set realistic goals. Always be honest, and don't fall into the habit of making empty threats to take things away you really won't. Kids need to know they can rely on you and trust the caring adults in their life!

Above all, NEVER withhold your child’s needs. Every child needs love, comfort, food, clothes and nurturing. These needs are non-negotiable and should never be withheld or earned. There are plenty of fun items that can be earned or taken away, if necessary, but never a child's needs.

As you consider these tips, don't stress! Change takes time but when you put in the effort, little by little and day by day, you'll see improvement. And remember, you are all part of the Sunshine Family! Reach out if you have any questions, we are always here for you.

May 22, 2024

5 Tips to Avoid Caregiver Burnout

Happy Tuesday! Hope you are having a great start to your week and enjoying all the beauty around you in this world. Often, I'm so busy with my tasks and to-do lists that I take the small things for granted. And I don't mean to, but I get caught up in what others need that I forget to breath and appreciate the moment.

I'm sure many of you can relate, our families are everything! We love them and want the very best for our loved ones, making sure they have the things that they need oftentimes at the expense of ourselves. Sometimes we want so much for them that we easily forget about taking care of a very important member of the family, ourselves.

Thats why Training Tip Tuesday this week is for the ones who tirelessly serve in order to make sure those around us have the best life possible. From driving to and from, to cooking, cleaning mess after mess, play dates, therapy appointments, you get it...  the list just doesn’t end! Often the needs of others become so great that we don’t feel there is any time for the Giver. When we neglect our own needs day after day, we can easily start to feel down and depressed experiencing what is called, 'Caregiver Burnout.'

According to the American Medical Association, "Caregiver burnout can create symptoms of stress and depression in the caregiver and negatively affect both the caregiver and the care recipient. Some symptoms manifest externally and are easy to identify, but others are often internal and not as apparent. If left unaddressed, burnout can have harmful effects for both the caregiver and the patient under their care. (1)"

Although we may need to seek professional help if we feel we are experiencing extreme caregiver burnout, here are 5 tips to pamper the Giver to try to avoid the onset of burnout before it becomes overwhelming.

#1 Remember What You Love

This could mean rekindling a personal passion, talent or hobby. Who are you outside of being a caregiver? Take some time to remember who you are so you can do something you love. It's okay to be happy and meet a personal need!

#2 Be Realistic

Be realistic about schedules, time and money. There are hundreds of great programs out there that our loved ones could be involved in, and they all may have great benefits. However, we can’t attend every great thing in life. Look at your options, your budget, and your time. Then, after considering what is good, better, and best, make decisions that work for the entire family.

#3 Reflect

Take time to reflect each day on your life. Some like to meditate, some pray, others listen to peaceful music. It can be as simple as just sitting down to think. Focus on your breathing and be calm. Spend a few moments each day on you. This will calm and refresh your mind and help you feel a greater sense of peace and wellness.

#4 Get Outside Regularly

Now before you tell me it's the middle of August with the humidity of a sauna, there are great benefits! Research has shown that fresh air and a short walk does so much for our soul. The simple things in life matter most and being outside consistently is as simple as it gets!

#5 Shed That Guilt!

Don’t fall victim to the mentality that you can do it all, even Batman had Robin. Caregivers often carry guilt over not being good enough for those whom we care for. Please don’t! Instead, praise what you are already doing and focus on what you may be able to do better. Put a plan in place if improvements truly need to be made. You can use your energy for more important things then feeling bad all the time. Kids don’t always need to be entertained and we aren't expected to always have all the answers in life. We only have 24 hours in a day, spend your time wisely!

If you feel your burnout has reached a point that is greater than you can handle, seek professional help. Strength comes from asking and receiving help. For more information on caregiver burnout please visit 'The American Medical Association' (cited below).

And as always, we are here for you! Reach out to us with questions, comments, or concerns and we are more than happy to help. At Sunshine ABA, families are the most important, and you are part of ours.

Works Cited

(1) “Caring for the Caregiver - American Medical Association.” American Medical Association , www.ama-assn.org/sites/ama-assn.org/files/corp/media-browser/public/public-health/caregiver-burnout-guide.pdf. Accessed 15 Aug. 2023.

May 22, 2024

Drumroll please...

There is just something about Saturday afternoons in the Summer. After another long and hot week, I like to have a lazier Saturday spending time with family and getting things done around the house. No matter how you spend your Saturday, I feel like there are always good vibes attached.

That's why I thought Saturday would be the perfect day to share some exciting news! Exciting announcements on an already good day is like the ultimate double whammy.

As the Sunshine family continues to grow, we are STOKED to announce that...

*drumroll please*

There will be a brand-new clinic located in Orlando Florida, expected to open Mid -September!!!

Who else is jumping for joy??

If you've never had services in a clinic before let me tell you just a few reasons why this is so exciting!

- The presence of peers allows for more opportunities to work on social interaction and appropriate behavior

- A better setting for generalizing skills to places other than the home that your kiddo may not be familiar with

- Access to a wider range of reinforcers and learning opportunities

- Opportunity to practice real world skills in a controlled environment

- Ability to access one-on-one high-quality parent training with providers in a clinical setting

- And more!

We can't wait to open in Orlando and have the opportunity to meet your family's needs in this way! And if you aren't located near Orlando or Hinesville, definitely keep your eyes open. As Sunshine ABA Therapy continues to expand, we have exciting things underway.

If you have any questions at all, or things you would like to see in our clinic reach out! We want to help you and your family the best that we can.

May 22, 2024

Easy Peasy Transitioning

Hi Mamas… we have now prepared for going back to school the best we can and the first day is fast approaching! Our routines are in place, backpacks are packed, and we are ready.

School has begun…now what?? Here are a few tips to help ease the stress of transitioning that can be especially difficult for our special needs kiddos.

#1 Preparation

Please do all you can to prepare for this first day. We have discussed some ideas in my previous blog posts, so if you missed those definitely go check them out. Have discussions, read stories, lay out clothes, plan breakfast and set up your first day to be organized the best you can.

#2 Visual Supports

Some kids need a visual. A binder that has pictures from home, a schedule of      your child’s school day, a picture of the school they will attend, the      classroom, the lunchroom etc. Looking at these pictures organized in a simple binder or folder can go to great lengths to help with this back-to-school adjustment.

#3 Daily Communication

Have a communication system that works with your child’s teacher. Often this is a notebook where the teacher and the parent can communicate important      things to better understand the daily life challenges of your child and your family. Open communication in the beginning will help prevent future problems.

#4 Stay Positive

Focus on what is going well! Too many times we as adults only focus on what our kids are struggling with but forget to focus on what they are doing well or      improving upon. Stay positive and remind your child, their teacher and      yourself about what is going well. A way you can keep this positive mindset is to write something down that you are grateful for and went well each day.

#5 Problem Solving

If there is a problem or a challenge, seek to solve it. With careful thought      and insight into the needs of your child all problems have a solution!      Solutions aren’t always a quick fix or perfect, however working on a      solution instead of focusing on a problem is a much better use of our time and energy.

#6 Last but not least, relax!

Transitions can be emotionally and physically draining, but they are a part of life. Expecting some challenges to occur will help you be better prepared to handle them. It often takes a few weeks for a back-to-school routine to be established but once it is, things will get back to a normal pace. Believe in yourself, you got this!

If you have more questions about transitions, back-to-school, or anything else please reach out! We are here to support you and your family with anything you need.

May 22, 2024

5 Ways to Catch More Zzz's

It is Wednesday! Happy middle of the week everyone. Normally we post Training Tip Tuesday on Tuesdays (hence the name) but we were having technical difficulties uploading yesterday. So, here we are today better late than never!

Last week we talked about different ways you can help your kiddo get ready for school. One of the ideas mentioned was establishing your earlier bedtime routine. This week we wanted to go into a little more detail about how you can do that with ease!

I know it is tough for kids to get to sleep at night. This is especially true for kids that have anxiety, autism, and other disabilities that affect their sleep. Not enough getting sleep affects the entire family and causes stress for everyone involved. Some kiddos need to be seen by a medical professional or may need formal sleep studies to help with chronic restlessness and inability to sleep. However, the tips below can help establish a better sleep routine for kids with sleep challenges.

#1 Avoid giving your child stimulants such as caffeine (4 hours) and sugar at (least 2 hours) before bed. Biologically, our bodies naturally wind down with the sunset and stimulants such as caffeine or an erratic sleep schedule disrupt our circadian rhythm. By avoiding stimulants, we are working with our bodies' natural mechanisms instead of fighting against them!

#2 Establish a regular nighttime routine. And example could be to give your child a bath then read a story and put them to bed at the same time every night. Children thrive off consistency and a regular routine will help their body adjust.

#3 Help your child to relax before bed by reading a book, giving a gentle back massage, or turning on soft music.

#4 Wake your child up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This goes back to the circadian rhythm thing. Waking up at the same time every morning will prompt our bodies to relax and fall asleep at the same time every night.

#5 Offer your child something that helps to calm them throughout the night. This may be a favorite stuffy, a nightlight, a favorite pet in their room, soft background noise like a fan, or all of the above! Having that security item with them all night will help your kiddo fall and stay asleep.

It is really hard for busy families to maintain a routine so be patient. Implementing some of the above strategies is better than nothing. Start with one or two and build from there. Consistency is the key to this strategy so don’t give up!

While these tips will help, "if your child suffers from a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, sleep walking, sleep terrors, restless legs syndrome, he may need a referral to a sleep specialist. Some children with persistent insomnia will need further behavioral or pharmacological treatment to improve their sleep." (1)

Contact us for more information about helping your kiddo establish a better sleep routine!

(1) Sleep | Autism Speaks, autismspeaks.org

May 22, 2024

Ready, set, learn!

Well, it's that time again! The dog days of summer are coming to a close and school is just around the corner. Back to school brings structured routine, extracurricular activities, homework, friends, and more. While there is a lot of excitement, starting school also brings change which can be hard for any child.

So, for Training Tip Tuesday this week, here are a few tips to help you child transition from summer to school year!

#1 Simplify School Supplies

We've all seen the poppit notebooks and sparkle filled glitter glue. While these items might be fun, I suggest keeping school supplies simple. Some of the more extravagant supplies on the market are distracting for a learning environment. Remember, our supplies are meant to be tools to support learning. Keeping toys and sensory objects separate helps your child stay focused on the task at hand!

#2 Establish a Bedtime Routine

If you’ve been relaxed with your summer bedtime routine enjoying later nights and sleeping in, start now with your school scheduled bedtime routine. Giving your kiddo a few weeks to adjust will smooth the transition and eliminate the additional stress from being over tired.

#3 Talk About the Day

Start talking with your child about their school day and what that will look like for them. Even if they went to school last year, having conversations helps your kiddo set expectations, know what to expect, and express any concerns or questions. The more comfortable they are, the easier this transition this will be!

#4 Attend Open House

Be sure to attend your child’s scheduled open house! Doing so allows your kiddo to see where they will sit, where they will learn, and what their teacher will look like. Many kids are visual learners so seeing the actual classroom ahead of time will do a world of good with easing any anxiety.

#5 Tell the Teacher

Communication is key! Talk to your child’s teacher about your specific child’s needs. Do they have a sensory object to help them throughout the day? Do they tend to fidget a lot? Maybe your kiddo brings a little stuffed animal to help them with comfort. These are things the teacher needs to know and understand to best support your child.

We want to help make the back-to-school transition as smooth as possible for your family! For tips like these, please contact us and a behavior therapist would be happy to answer any questions. We are here to support you through every phase of life.  

May 22, 2024

What More Can I Do?

We all love having ABA Therapy. I know I do! ABA therapy improves our child's life and as caregivers we are striving to do what is best for them.  By putting their needs first, I constantly find myself asking the question 'what more can I do?' I'm sure you've found yourself asking this question too.

Well... for Training Tip Tuesday we wanted to discuss a tip about helping your child get more out of their ABA therapy!

Did you know that insurance companies now require BCBA’s to spend some session times training the parents and caregivers? With busy lives, a household to run, and often other kiddos to attend to, this may sound overwhelming.

However, the success of any ABA Therapy program depends on our families getting involved. Children need consistency and the best way to offer that is to carry the ABA techniques taught by providers over to family life after they leave for the day.

According to Heather Gilmore with Behavior Innovations,

"Parents who participate in ABA parent training will be supporting their child’s success in:

  • Treatment services
  • Learning important skills such as self-care, toileting, and following daily routines
  • Generalizing and maintaining skills they have learned
  • Demonstrating appropriate, functional, and effective behaviors
  • Having healthy and enjoyable relationships"

These are just a few of the benefits an involved caregiver enjoys!

The easiest and often overlooked technique we as caregivers can use with our kids is high energy positive praise . Kids naturally want to please, so when they know we are happy with a behavior they want to do that behavior again. Catch them being good as the saying goes! So practice positive praise, even praising the simple things makes a big difference. 

 

Please reach out to us to begin this critical step to success. Relax and dive in. You are your child’s most important teacher.

Citations

Gilmore, Heather. "Parent Training in ABA: Why.      Parent Involvement is Critical for Success."          Behavioral  Innovations, 24 September 2020,       behavioral-innovations.com/blog/importance-of-parent-training-aba-therapy/#:~:text=Parents%20who%20participate%20in%20ABA%20parent%20training%20will%20be%20supporting,toileting%2C%20and%20following%20daily%20routines.

May 22, 2024

Are there really bad kids?

We use labels every day in the world we live in. Lucky, unlucky, right, wrong, bad, good, are just a few examples. They help us differentiate and categorize to make more informed decisions.

Dangers can occur however when we label people.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought 'oh yeah, she's crazy?' Or called someone a bully? Said someone was 'dramatic' or made another assumption without truly knowing them.

Psychology today said, "This label may be a reasonable reflection of who they are right now, but it also carries a belief that the behavior reflects a person’s essence."

Sometimes we get caught up in labeling behavior and the one behaving as 'bad'! We forget that most of the time we are all just doing our best.

Often, as a BCBA I go into a school or home and see kiddos acting out. It is no picnic for anyone to see and hear some of these tantrums. Then, when we are all stressed, the caregiver wants to know what punishment or consequence will be administered to the kiddo who is the one engaging in this behavior. My answer is the same. We need to focus more on what skill this child is missing that causes them to act like this. What do we need to teach to try to prevent this behavior in the future?

We as adults, teachers, parents and friends need to remember that when a kid acts out it is because he or she is missing something. It is also because they lack maturity to figure out a different way to get what they need and want. So, take a deep breath, count to 10 and then let our brains get to work!

What can I do to help this child learn a better way? What can I teach that will make things better. This is positive behavior support, this is positive parenting. Let us be problem solvers. Please feel free to reach out to us for more involved parent training and support.

Nicole Wagner, MS, BCBA

President

admin@sunshineabatherapy.com

(P) 407.907.2077

(F) 973-888-1377

Psychology Today's article

'The Danger of Labeling Others (or Yourself) | Psychology Today'

May 20, 2024