We use labels every day in the world we live in. Lucky, unlucky, right, wrong, bad, good, are just a few examples. They help us differentiate and categorize to make more informed decisions.
Dangers can occur however when we label people.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought 'oh yeah, she's crazy?' Or called someone a bully? Said someone was 'dramatic' or made another assumption without truly knowing them.
Psychology today said, "This label may be a reasonable reflection of who they are right now, but it also carries a belief that the behavior reflects a person’s essence."
Sometimes we get caught up in labeling behavior and the one behaving as 'bad'! We forget that most of the time we are all just doing our best.
Often, as a BCBA I go into a school or home and see kiddos acting out. It is no picnic for anyone to see and hear some of these tantrums. Then, when we are all stressed, the caregiver wants to know what punishment or consequence will be administered to the kiddo who is the one engaging in this behavior. My answer is the same. We need to focus more on what skill this child is missing that causes them to act like this. What do we need to teach to try to prevent this behavior in the future?
We as adults, teachers, parents and friends need to remember that when a kid acts out it is because he or she is missing something. It is also because they lack maturity to figure out a different way to get what they need and want. So, take a deep breath, count to 10 and then let our brains get to work!
What can I do to help this child learn a better way? What can I teach that will make things better. This is positive behavior support, this is positive parenting. Let us be problem solvers. Please feel free to reach out to us for more involved parent training and support.
Nicole Wagner, MS, BCBA
President
(P) 407.907.2077
(F) 973-888-1377
Psychology Today's article
'The Danger of Labeling Others (or Yourself) | Psychology Today'
